Heartbeat
by violet.hour
Summary: AkuRoku. "I can feel your inner fire. It's like...a heartbeat." Axel's destiny, forever and irrevocably intertwined with Roxas's...From the moment his eyes met Sora's he knew his life would never be the same.


"You should consider yourself lucky," Axel drawled. "Now you get to be nothing instead of Nobody."

His eyes narrowed in disgust as he silenced Vexen's pitiful cries for mercy with a quick snap of his fingers.

"What kind of people are you?!" Sora cried, his fists clenched.

Axel turned, his face impassive. Sora's blue eyes bored into him, anger and confusion and the tiniest hint of fear glittering in their depths. His face was twisted, mirroring his emotions. He looked so…alive. Something that Axel was not. Not really.

He felt himself being pulled in, entranced by the cerulean orbs that seemed to telegraph everything that Sora was feeling. Axel found himself wishing that he knew what it was like.

"I don't really know the answer to that myself."

As he opened a portal and stepped into it, he felt for that split-second of travel what it must be like to be nothing as the darkness engulfed him. His senses failed and the emptiness that filled his mind was impossible to describe.

It was over in a few seconds, but Axel shivered involuntarily as he stepped out. He felt faintly relieved as his senses returned, and he reveled in the ability to see his body and feel the smooth leather of his jacket against his skin.

_You should consider yourself lucky._

Suddenly, Axel wondered if he believed his own words.

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Axel smirked as he caught sight of the Organization's newest member walking down one of Twilight Town's deserted streets. Xigbar had told him that this was where the kid liked to hang out.

"Hey!" Axel called. "You're Roxas, right? Number thirteen."

Roxas refused to meet Axel's gaze. "Um…hello. I didn't think I'd see anyone out here."

"Yeah, this place isn't that popular. It's a great escape," Axel agreed. "I'm Axel, by the way. A-x-e-l. Got it memorized?"

Roxas smiled a little at his arrogant remark, looking up at Axel and finally meeting his eyes. Cerulean met emerald green, and Axel gasped, rocking back on his heels a little. The same brilliant blue eyes that had entranced him before…

Axel knew that Nobodies possessed no real emotions, but the confusion that was so plain in the endless wells of Roxas' eyes could not have possibly been fake. Axel chuckled and stepped closer to Roxas, who blushed a little but didn't break eye contact.

"Is something wrong…Axel?"

A warm feeling blossomed in Axel's chest when Roxas spoke his name. "Nah. I'm just very glad we've met. I think I've been waiting for this to happen." He paused. "Does that make sense?"

"Well, considering the fact that we're Nobodies, no, it doesn't make sense." Roxas smiled again. "But I think I feel the same way."

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"I can feel it…" Roxas murmured. "You're so warm."

The bed was cold, and Roxas had moved closer to Axel, wrapping his arms around Axel's waist and burying his head against his neck, near his chest.

Axel looked away, not wanting Roxas to see the slight blush that tinted his cheeks. "What...?"

The way Roxas' bare skin touched his own and the feel of the younger boy's breath against the sensitive skin of his throat was driving him mad.

"The heat inside of you. Your…inner fire." Roxas hummed against Axel's chest, letting the waves of warmth soak into him. Axel closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Roxas's weight on top of him and the soft, light scent of his blond hair. Suddenly Roxas stiffened.

"Axel…I've just realized…It's almost like…" he trailed off.

Axel's eyes fluttered open. "Like what, Rox?"

"Like a heartbeat."

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Axel sighed as flames lapped at his body. He tried in vain to lift his head, but the pain was too much and he stopped. He grimaced, watching helplessly as he began to fade away, particles of darkness gently lifting up and mixing with the smoke from the fire.

_Now you get to be nothing instead of Nobody._

His words to Vexen from so long ago swirled around in his mind, accompanied by a stab of dread that made his body grow heavy and cold. He found himself wishing that it did not have to end this way. Despite the show he put on, deep inside Axel did not want to simply disappear into darkness. He dared to hope that perhaps there was some kind of afterlife, even for Nobodies like himself and Roxas. He had to believe that there was more than just _nothingness._

Sora's face, older now, hovered above him. Gone were the small face and full cheeks, replaced by sharper, longer features. Then he met those horrible, captivating eyes, and felt grief and longing ravage his body, greater than even the physical pain, as the thought that he would never see Roxas again crashed through his mind.

"Axel, what were you trying to do?" Sora broke him out of his reverie. The low, soft tone of his voice and the sadness and confusion that laced through it was another painful reminder of…

"Roxas…I wanted to see Roxas," Axel responded. "He…was the only one I liked…He made me feel…like I had a heart." He paused. "It's kind of funny…You make me feel…the same…"

Axel screwed his eyes shut for a moment, unable to face Sora. He desperately wondered if Roxas could hear him.

"Axel…"

The darkness swirled about him, and he was gone.

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What Axel felt, or rather, didn't feel, was beyond description as he passed through the realm of death. He felt nothing of his body, his senses were completely deadened. He was suspended in utter blackness. In

nothing.

He did not feel, he did not think. His thoughts fragmented and wouldn't stay in place for more than a few seconds, and he couldn't even breathe. Years could have passed, or not even a second; time had no structure. The darkness completely engulfed him; it filled him, consuming his entire entity and smothering in its entirety everything that made him who he was.

Axel didn't fight back. He let himself go, and allowed himself to melt completely away and merge with the eternal emptiness surrounding him.

There was no pain, only the cold, immense barrenness. Suddenly, a small part of him cried out in protest. Anguish began to slowly spread through him as memories of his time with Roxas and his few friends in Organization XIII flashed through his mind like a motion picture.

Wait. Why was he able to think, and feel? _I should be nothing now._ But something deep inside of Axel stirred, so greatly rejecting the thought that his existence was over. He was suddenly overcome with a burning desire to find a way out of the darkness. He decided with conviction that he would not let himself end this way.

"_I can feel it…your inner fire."_

Roxas's voice, so clear to him even now, echoed in his mind. The memory of his piercing blue eyes, so full of life and unlike any other normal Nobody, inspired him to act. Axel centered himself, and reached deep inside for the power that he thought had faded away with his death. At first, he felt only darkness; but there, weak, but still there, was the faintest wisp of heat. Axel focused in on it, using all of his willpower to feed and call upon the element. The heat grew larger and stronger, growing in intensity until a small flame flared up, blazing out and crackling with power, becoming bigger and brighter and forming into the shape of a man.

Axel laughed as the flames died down again, leaving his body, which was now whole once more. The power still pulsed within him, and he reveled in the warmth coursing through his body, burning away the icy chill of the nothingness that still surrounded him.

Holding an arm out in front of him, Axel smiled as a small ball of flame flared to life in front of his eyes, illuminating a small space around him. The light did not reach very far, so overwhelming was the pitch blackness. It was the only source of light in the world that Axel now inhabited. But it was enough.

Keeping the vision of Roxas in his mind, Axel started forward, the light his constant companion and beacon. He did not know where he was going, or what he would find. But if he was able to find himself again, surely it meant that he could find a way out? That he might find…

…his heart?

The faintest tug of hope that formed in Axel's chest and blossomed outwards filled his body with a warm, tingling feeling, a slow burn, not unlike the way he felt when he was making love to Roxas.

It spurred him on and gave him strength as he ventured ever forward into the darkness.


End file.
